In honor of today’s holiday, I thought what better way to celebrate than swooping in with a much delayed post (what better way to scare the bejeebus out of someone than seeing my face at your door/posts in your stream, right? “Oh god no — IT’S HIM AGAIN!!!) And to keep it festive we’ll run another round of everyone’s favorite game — SUNSHINE SPEED DATING! (Halloween edition) So without further ado, get your patented one-liners and heartbreaking nostalgia ready, cuz it’s time to roll!
DING! “Why hello there — look at all of you! You look like the sweetest group of grandmas and grandpas I’ve ever seen, with your pressed guayaberas and lovely dresses. You must be out celebrating the 25th anniversary of the amazing Buena Vista Social Club album! That album was SO good — I remember when I traveled there around that time, those songs were everywhere. Coming out of bars, the hotels, even random performers on the street would play some of the songs. Not that I’m complaining — those songs were and still are amazing and it’s nice to hear you all humming them still. Your voices harmonized together so beautifully. It’s really an honor to meet you all.
I have to admit, though, I’m a little surprised to see you all at a speed dating event. What’s that? Yes, I know 80% of those over 65 are still sexually active. And yes, I know I wouldn’t be here if folks like you didn’t “get your grind on” when your “plums were howling” back in the day. You don’t need to be so graphic, senor. I’m just saying, you gotta be careful — STDs are rampant in your age group. Like, out of control — historically high rates of chlamydia, gonorrhea, and syphilis! That sh#$ can drive you insane — it killed Al Capone, ya know. Napoleon too! Oh don’t get offended, I’m only trying to protect you. Just cuz you’re 90 doesn’t mean you shouldn’t wrap it up, that’s all I’m saying! Oh cmon, don’t be like that… Well, I still love the album and really enjoyed the extra disc full of unreleased songs. “La Pluma’s” one of my faves! Have a good day — stay safe!”
DING! “Oh hey! Kevin Morby and Hamilton Leithauser! So cool to meet you guys — you are two of my favorites! Did you guys come dressed as each other? That’s pretty funny — is that something you guys are doing as part of the joint tour you’re on now? Cuz that’d be pretty funny. Ham, you’d come out in a long, wavy wig and sing Kevin’s songs and he’d come out in a suit and tie and sing yours. And then in the third act y’all could switch back and just trade songs as yourselves and close things out with a bang. It could be pretty epic — really live up to that “Fall Mixer” title, ya know?
Speaking of — have you guys come up with a cool combo name now that you’re touring together? Like Bennifer or Morbzahatchee, like when Kevin was doing the weekly virtual shows/rodeos with Ms Katie? You could go indie band and be Leitby, or more ad slogany like 2021 — In Need of Mor Leit. Or play up the academic angle and call yourselves Morhaus University. OOH! Maybe go truly extreme and call it the Hammorb of the Gods. That’d be pretty sick. What’s that? No, you’re right — I guess Fall Mixer’s good, too… Just kind of… plain. Anyway — don’t get offended. I’m excited to see the show in a few weeks. Really like the new song — the intro reminds me of “Blackout” a little. In a good way!”
DING! “Hey! Eddie Vedder! SO cool to meet you — I LOVE your costume. Tom Petty from the Alice in Wonderland video! That’s so cool. I love Tom Petty. And that was such a fun/weird video. Yeah, can’t believe he’s been gone so long — four frigging years?! I don’t know how that’s even possible. What’s that? Oh yeah — I’m really looking forward to watching that new documentary on the making of Wildflowers. That was such a good album…
You know it’s funny you came dressed as him because the first thing that popped into my head when I listened to your new song from the upcoming album was that it totally reminded me of a Petty track. Just out on the open road, big hooks and melody — I really liked it. Eager to see what else you’ve got in store for us. Hey remember that time you climbed into the rafters at those early shows and were hanging there above the stage? You, like, totally could have died, man. Do you ever think about that? And now that dude who’s banging Megan Fox copied you and did it at a show recently. Does it annoy you that people like him are stealing your moves and not somebody cooler? Oh it does. And you didn’t know that’d happened? Oh. Ohhhhhhh now I feel bad. Oh man, um, don’t….don’t feel bad, I’m sure it was a sincere homage and not a desperate cry for attention. You still rule? Really! Ed Ved! Don’t despair!”
DING! “WHOA! Speaking of dudes who rule — the Coug and the Boss! You guys are legends! What’s that? Sorry, Mr Mellencamp, I know no one calls you the Cougar anymore. That’s just what I grew up knowing you as, didn’t mean to offend you. And I’m sorry Mr Springsteen, I know I should show more respect to you, too. Yes, I know you hang out with the former President, sir. No, I don’t think HE calls you the Boss (although to be honest, I’m pretty sure he could if he wanted to, right? Cuz he’s, like, THE Boss? And if THE Boss wants to call the OTHER Boss The Boss, theennnnnnnnn…. ya kinda just gotta go with it, right? Yes, I know I’m not the President. Yes, not even close, sir. And nobody cares that we’re from the same city — got it. Sorry to offend….)
AAAAANYway — off to a really good start here… I gotta say, it’s so funny you two came dressed as each other, too — did you see Leithauser and Morby did the same thing? Great minds, I guess. You should think about keeping your hair that way, Mr Springsteen — that upswoop looks really fun. Gives you a more lighthearted feel. Not that anyone would think you’re a bit prickly. Nooo….. Hey, I dig the song you two did together — really gives off a classic Mellencamp vibe. What’s that? No I don’t think it overshadows you, Mr Boss, your part holds its own. It’s just the music sounds more Mellencampy to me — not in a bad way, Mr Cougar! What now? No I don’t think the President overshadows you either — he just has a lot to say and kind of talks slower so it SEEMS like he might be taking more time. And you know, like you said, he IS the former President and all, right? So it’s kind of an honor to be cut off by him, right? Leader of the free world! Oh cmon, don’t be like that — you’re still the Boss, right? Bruuuuuuuuuuuce. BRUUUUUUUUUCE! Cheer up!”
DING! “Oh wow, Mr Yorke, I didn’t expect to see you here! You flew all the way over here just for the event? That’s pretty impressive. They don’t have things like this back in the UK? Oh you just love costumed celebrations? I guess that makes sense. Only — what are you dressed as? You just look like a random mix of words on a poster. Kind of like someone swirled those magnetic poetry things around on the fridge into an unintelligible mess. Oh it’s a protest board. Got it. So all the things you despise. Makes sense. Ah yes, I see now — capitalism, technology, government… Definitely picked those up from you over the years.
I gotta say, there’s a LOT of words on here, Mr Yorke — almost too many to make sense of them. What’s that? Yes, I know there’s a lot to be upset about these days. Yes, the past five years HAVE been exceedingly difficult. Almost overwhelming at times — completely agree. Hey I was glad to hear the band was releasing a bunch of unreleased tracks for the anniversaries of Kid A and Amnesiac next month! That’s got to be pretty exciting right? “If You Say the Word” was really good — really excited to see what else is on there. What’s that? Yes, I know it doesn’t make up for all the things we’ve got to fix in the world and at best offers “scant few seconds of solace,” you’re right. I gotta say, though — some of these things on your board seem sort of trivial. Like wearing black socks with gym shoes? Or white bean chili? None of those things seem worth losing sleep over. And cargo shorts — are they really that offensive? I mean seriously. Oh alright — there’s no need to shout, Mr Yorke. I can see you feel strongly on this issue. “Unholy abomination” seems a LITTLE excessive, but let’s agree to disagree here. I still love your guys’ music (even if the last album was a disappointment — that’s right, I said it! Stick THAT in your single set of pockets and sulk!) Byeeeeeeeeee!”
DING! “Oh wow, Aaron Dessner and Justin Vernon! Cool to see you guys here! Did you….BOTH….come dressed as Bruce Hornsby? Wow. That’s, uh….a weird choice, but yeah, I guess it makes sense. Yes, I know he’s a huge influence and you love his music. Can TOTALLY tell. (Particularly you, Mr Vernon… Yes, I did see you had him come onstage to play a song or two with you on your last tour. That….rocked?)
Um anyways… so I saw you two recently released the second album under your Big Red Machine moniker. Some nice stuff on there. Now that you mention it, I actually think you might have more guest stars than tones on the album! What’s that? I mean — Sharon Van Etten, Fleet Foxes, Michael Stipe, Ben Howard, Taylor Swift… All give nice contributions, it just sounds a little….monotone after a bit. Kind of like….no — I won’t say it… No, don’t tear up Mr Vernon, I just don’t like him as much as you two do. He’s fine in small doses — I just wouldn’t have used him as the template for like half of my recent material. But that’s just me — what do I know?! It’s fine — you two have fun out there. I bet you’ll get a ton of candy. Nothing gets the people pumped like midtempo piano crooners….
DING DING DING!
We’ll close with a couple live tunes, since I’m slowly filling the biggest hole I’ve had for that stuff since I started going to shows ~25 years ago. The first one comes from hometown hero Jeff Tweedy, who recently did a solid Neil Young cover with his sons and a few other musicians at the beloved hole in the wall the Hideout back home. It’s this super weird/cool bar that’s basically in a house in this industrial part of town — totally out of sorts with its surroundings (“one of these things is nooooot like the other!”), but also totally cool. You can sense the warm, welcoming vibe in the clip — check out Tweedy doing “Old Country Waltz” here:
Lastly wanted to highlight a show that My Morning Jacket did the other night as part of its ongoing tour. I’ve been obsessively listening to the album since it came out a week or two ago, and each day or two a new song gets lodged in my head like an unrelenting earworm. They played a couple of the tracks when I got to see them recently (pretty much the best return to live music I could have expected after all this time away), but this set has several more I didn’t get to hear that night (including current faves “In Color,” “Complex,” and “Never in the Real World.”) They also deliver some scorching versions of old favorites, such as “Mahgeetah,” “Evil Urges,” and “Lay Low.” They even did a ripping version of “Dancefloors,” which they haven’t played regularly since like 2015! You can watch the entire ~2.5 hour set here — it’s definitely worth your time.
That’s it for now — hope everyone enjoys their circus peanuts and Almond Joys! Until next time, amici!
–BS